Dan #1

 

Already when I was walking, the dingo followed me around. Immediately, the captain noticed, and he walked up to me. He asked if that was a native dingo following me. I answered with a yes sir, like all soldiers do. Then he went on with how fine the dingo was. I answered once more with a yes sir. Then he spoke about how the governor needed a watch dog like that. Then he exclaimed to the soldiers that they were going to catch a native dingo. All the soldiers replied with yes sir, just like I did before. Now, all the soldiers except me.

 

Jake and I were sent on a mission to capture and take the native dingo. I tried to reason with Jake that the dingo might belong to someone already. He tried to also reason with me. He said that maybe they don’t belong to someone and they just hang around them. I exclaimed that that was just stupid. Then he told me to shush. I asked what he had heard. Jake ordered to go that way quickly because he had heard a growl. Already, I knew this would go wrong. Immediately, I had to warn Waruwi!

 

Already, I appeared behind the big trunk on the tree, careful not to step on the roots, trip and fall. I had called out Waruwi. All of a sudden, Waruwi jumped from the giant trees long branch, and stood behind me. I tried to warn Waruwi that they were coming for her dingo, but she just thought I was playing around with her. Clearly, there was a big language barrier between us.

 

Then, the soldiers found me, so I tied up the dog. Then, I brought it back to camp. Captain told me to look after it. But just then, Waruwi started throwing rocks. Everyone thought we were under attack, so everyone alerted the Captain.

One thought on “Dan #1

  1. I loved you writing and your fronted adverbials. I also liked how you organised the scenes into paragraphs. What I think could be improved is that you shouldn’t put too many adverbials and try to put more detail in it.

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